Movin' on Over

While having a shower last night I decided that English sometimes makes me angry.  Not angry in a "I want to destroy you" way, but angry in a "what the hell were you smoking when inventing this language?" way.  

For one, we have a bunch of words like "By, buy and bye" that all sound the same but mean different things. And then we have the words that are spelled the same, but pronounced differently: Read and read. (which also falls into the first category due to "red and read") Of course, we're all used to this. But I wonder what ramifications it would have if we switched them around. For example. 

"Yesterday I went two the store to by some read pants".  See, looks stupid eh? Like, who the hell talks like that? But that's the thing, technically, that is exactly what you would say. Though, when you see it written out it looks stupid. So, if it sounds the same why not get rid of all those homonyms, homophones and shit like that? Well, of course one could argue "how are you supposed to know what someone is saying if it's written?". Well here is my answer to you.  If you're too unintelligent to understand what context something is in by reading a sentence, than you're probably too unintelligent to breathe without thinking about it, so I figure you're not going to plaguing our world much longer anyway :). 

Now that the first part of my rant is over, I will comment on the title of the blog. It was in the shower that I decided that the word "Move" is annoying. 


Examples of when you can use the word move (or variations of it):


"I move that article 529C, the law against wearing dance shoes to the doctor office be abolished"


"Yesterday I moved into my first apartment"


"The doctor said to come back and see him if the laxative doesn't result in a move"

"Man, when are you going to make your move on Gretel?"


So as you can see, "Move" is a very versatile word. Which is okay, versatility is great. But why the hell are there so many different meanings for the word.  From legal actions, to taking a dump the word "move" is there for you. Maybe it's coincidence that legal jargon is the same as bathroom jargon (as much sense as that makes :P) but what I want to know is why not just think up different words? I mean, to me, if I were to invent a language I would use different words for different things. In fact, I don't much see the point in using the same word for different things, it's confusing and unnecessary. 

Now just to make sure I've covered the side of conversation that I'm most likely to be attacked with, I do understand that the word is used because by definition, all of those examples are "Motions" of some sort. But if you want to get technical about it, everything we do during the day is a motion of some sort. Unless you lay in bed all day and do nothing. Though, as my coworker pointed out, the word "lay" is actually a verb "to lie" so, verbs being actions I suppose could technically be a motion of some sort. 


Therefore, I would like to; Suggest the abolition of the multiple uses of the word "MOVE" in the English language.